Failure to Launch
It’s 11:17 pm CST on October 14th, 2017 it’s at this point I realize I’m going to be late in releasing my site. Which drove me crazy, being a perfectionist, Type A personality and a project manager by trade. I had been building up anticipation over the last week of my go live. And spreading the word to as many people as I could family, friends, social media, strangers I met while running errands and seeing the Oscar de la Renta exhibit the night before. I was excited and anxious all week. Finally, I was going to be an entrepreneur, this was my second chance and it was happening for me!
I’ve always been encouraged by friends and given affirmations by strangers of the gift I have. But I always down played it, since I was encouraged to be in the Information Technology field by my parents. I love both of my parents, and I truly appreciate all they’ve done for me in my professional career as an IT Project Manager. They wanted me to be financially secure as an adult, and I’m grateful that I do. But art has and always will be my first love and passion.
As the night went on I ran into numerous issues from, my phone not transferring over the pictures I finished editing that day, to my shipping vendor having an error on the site. And to be honest, the design I was going to release wasn’t truly what I wanted. But I had already committed to October 15th, I a, a woman of my word, I try my best not to be flaky with commitments in general, and my reputation means a lot to me.
Not to mention, I had the flu right before my surgery, which I was still recovering from and just returned to work that week. My first day of driving after my procedure, was the Sunday before work! When I returned to work I got a new client, which required me to work over time the entire week of October 9th. I worked late most nights and often until the wee hours of the morning, to make sure that all my clients and team members had everything they needed. My insomnia didn’t help either and I couldn’t take the medication being on pain killers. So finally, when I could take my sleep medication I was up until 3:00 am can’t take that when you have to be up by 7:00 am!
So, Friday night rolls around and I worked until 8:00 pm. I was fortunate to attend the opening night of The Glamour and Romance of Oscar de la Renta at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. Which by the way if you haven’t seen, is in the Houston area from now until January 28th 2018, please make sure you do! The fee is $25 for adults, $20 for seniors, and free for children under 12. Trust me it’s worth it! I was speechless upon arrival and nearly came to tears at many of the pieces on display. That night for me was full of excitement, affirmations and inspiration, for all of the things I could possibly do with for my craft and my business. By the way, I am in no way affiliated with MFAH, I’m not getting any commissions for recommending the exhibit, I found it phenomenal and wanted to share.
After the event was over I returned home to work on my site and do some last minute pictures. I wasn’t tired, so I figured why not take advantage of the extra time, plus I find my pictures look better when I shoot at night then in the day. Friends, I worked all night, I didn’t sleep. The next day, I went to the bank to open my business account. I then attended a meeting with some local ladies, who are also entrepreneurs and are in the beginning stages of working on their side hustles and passions.
By the way, if you’re interested in Travel advice please check out my friend Angelica’s site Travel Size Tips. Her blog provides information on how to save money on trips and her experience of various exhibitions and destinations she's visited.
If you need some inspiration and great advice, check out my friend Ashley’s blog Fab Life 31. She’s also written a book entitled Glow Through It: 10 Tips to Developing an Action Plan for your Life & Womanhood, it’s a great read, and honestly is one of the reasons that I tried again with my business plan.
And last but not least if you like digital prints, lapel pins or apparel check out my girl Haven’s site HavenlyMood on Etsy. I’ve purchased so many shirts from her, I’m often found modeling on her Instagram page as a client shout out!
I truly love these women, they’re not just networking partners, but I consider them more than friends, they’re my sisters. I am so proud of each and every one of them, I admire their drive, passion, and expertise in so many areas. We get together weekly and discuss what we’re working on, brainstorm together, and encourage each other. So there’s my shout out BBBs *muah*!😘
After the meeting I ran some errands, this being the first time I had really been out of the house in weeks and I had some time to spare. I got fabric happy in Joann Fabric, so definitely stay tuned for my purse line coming out! I had spoken to my mom earlier and she began to worry, because I wasn’t sleeping and barely eating the whole week. So, when she found out I hadn’t slept the whole night and had the nerve to go to a meeting, she put her mom hat on in full effect lol! I promised I was going to go to the meeting, grab breakfast and head home and go to sleep, then I’d wake up and finish the last minute items up for my site. Well as we all know that didn’t happen!
Post from my personal Facebook
Hello friends and family, tomorrow is the big day! 😄 I'm so excited and truly feel blessed to have a second chance in entrepreneurship. I thank you all for your support, constructive criticism, encouragement, and love over the last few months. 💙 I couldn't have done this without any of you!
I've learned a lot over the last few years that have prepared me for this day. The countless obstacles I've faced, were all in preparation to follow my true passion. I encourage anyone who has a dream, to do anything and everything to make it happen! And, remember if at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again.
Every failure, is a lesson learned, and an opportunity for improvement. That will make you stronger, smarter, and even more driven to reach your goals. Everything happens for a reason and everything happens when it's meant to.
This is only the beginning and there will be many surprises in store for the growth of my brand! 😉
Much love and blessings!
You will always have my support. You know I can’t wait to see when you begin adding your paintings. I just love your many talents and drive. There is so much more to come from you and out of you. The great creator was not messing around when he formed you. Love you much.
So back to Saturday night at 11:17 pm CST, I told myself ok I’m going to be maybe 1 or 2 hours late no biggie, I tried to remain calm. Side note, I posted the event on my Facebook page, that my site was launching, so this was the ultimate commitment! How can a host plan an event and not show up!? It was by 2:30 am I realized I failed, I couldn’t do it. I spoke to my cousin and said I was going to release the site anyways just so everyone could see it. But I later changed my mind, since I wanted it to be complete if I released it. Why release an online store that you can’t purchase from? I could lose potential customers as they could quickly forget about me.
I realized with the technical glitch, this was now out of my hands and I’d have to wait until Monday morning during business hours to speak to a sub vendor, I was unaware of, with my shipment provider.
It was at this point, I reviewed my to do list and planned out what I was going to do tomorrow, to keep working and be productive. But at some point in the late hours it hit me. I had failed again. I broke down I cried so hard I couldn’t even hear any noise coming out from my sobs. I was shaking, I was talking aloud and stuttering as I was praying to God. I was completely hysterical! And I couldn’t call anyone this late and I could barely talk what could they do? I had to calm down but I couldn’t.
I prayed to God I asked Him why? Why would He do this to me? This was my second chance at trying my business again. Some of you may not know that I tried a few years ago to do my business, but I failed miserably. I hadn’t done enough research, I hadn’t thought things through.
My initial try was Pink Starr Jewels, which I don’t count (I didn’t even have a business license) I simply did a jewelry show and a friend’s house. I got a lot of feedback, which honestly helped me think things through about making jewelry. Things I didn’t think of at the time. Examples: the size of people’s wrists, the weight of earrings, if it’s too heavy it could split people’s ear lobes. There was also the material I was using, I had found some beautiful highly delicate glass beads that if it dropped, it would literally shatter. Side note, any mention of glass beads in my store is not this delicate and if it is there is a note of the fragility.
Later, I released an Etsy page, Lu Morrow Creations, where I sold jewelry and handmade cards. At this point I had done more research I got a business license and a tax ID. I got some purchases from friends and family initially, but no one else. I took it hard. I figured I sucked and maybe my mom was right, this is just a hobby and not a career.
Back to my hysterical prayer to God and questioning Him on why He did this to me. I don’t like to question God and I usually always apologize to Him as soon as I do it. I mean the audacity of me questioning God!? Who am I that I think I have some sort of privilege to question, the Alpha and the Omega! The beginning and the end!? Not trying to preach to those who have different beliefs or are not religious, this me is being honest and vulnerable in my story. I caught myself and I apologized to Him, I prayed in tears asking for Him to give me peace and comfort. To show me what He was planning for me because it was at that moment I didn’t understand. I mean I literally was crying until snot was coming from my nose. #TMI
After my prayer, I realized my to do list and being productive or talking to anyone or sharing on social media was not happening tomorrow or ever until I got my answers. I was nervous I was going to relapse back into a depressive state. Growing up I was my worst critic, a perfectionist, and when I failed I would get depressed and detached. I wouldn’t take care of myself, I would do unmentionable things to myself. But over the last few years I’ve truly worked on me, to not put so much pressure on myself, and to attain more SMART goals. So when I made these goals and used my project management and IT skills on myself I lost it! I mean I’m the resource, I’m not even working with other people, (besides my vendors and my networking group for encouragement and ideas). This was all on me!
The next day, I was a little calmer, but each time I thought about it I cried. I ended up cleaning up to distract myself. That’s when I had a revelation as to why this had happened. Even though I consider myself a bit of a heathen because I don’t attend church. I do consider I have a great relationship with God. That’s my homie! He’s always looking out for me. And as I’ve said many times everything happens for a reason. Hell! I literally said that in my Facebook post to my friends and family about my business launch!
God spoke to me.
- I was tired and not well, I need to make sure my health is priority. I needed to fully recover from surgery and not sleeping or eating is not healthy either.
- What I was going to release, wasn’t what I truly wanted to display to the world at my second chance redemption! I had a lot going on that I didn’t anticipate before I had planned and scheduled everything.
If I’m going to release my site, I want to do it right, I took the vendor bug as a blessing. Which is why friends, even after I talk to my vendor on Monday and resolve the issue. I’m going to further delay my launch until I get it right. I’m going to be doing some planning this week to give you an estimate on when to expect it, not even a date. I want to make sure I remain as calm and healthy as possible when I go live. I want to give you the best possible product and presentation of myself and my brand. I thank you all in advance for your understanding and your kind words of encouragement I have been receiving. Please keep a look out, I will be posting updates still on my social media. And when I know for sure that everything is perfect, you will be the first to know!